Scarlett O'Hara--Part II

     Aunt Reba, Miami, c. 1975

     My Aunt Reba was a character. She wanted her picture made with the birthday hat on. It wasn't HER birthday, but she liked being the center of attention. One of the reasons she was the favored daughter of the James family was that she was musically gifted. She could play the piano by ear, and she later took lessons somewhere. I admit Aunt Reba was a  truly talented evangelical style pianist and organist. She and I had playing the piano in common. When I visited her home, I loved to sit and go through her music--she had probably a hundred sheet music songs, in addition to the many hymnals she played in various churches. On Sundays, after church, she and Uncle Frank would come for Sunday dinner. Afterwards, I'd sit and play the piano, and if my friend Patti was there, we'd practice singing the alto part of the hymns for choir. Aunt Reba had to get involved. She'd listen, and then tell us we were singing it all wrong. She'd push me off the piano bench, play, and sing. The playing was fine; the singing, not so much. It was NOT the alto part. In fact, it was amazing that she had such a good ear for the piano, but such a bad ear for singing. She was tone deaf when it came to vocal music. Patti and I would just sing along and then crack up later. Uncle Frank, well, he'd tell her to stop messing with us. When she didn't, he'd just lay low. He laid low a lot. 

     Before my mom died, the family always went down to Grandmother's for Sunday dinner. Aunt Reba and Uncle Frank would come by to visit. Aunt Reba was a flashy dresser, and she always had to check out and try the new styles. My Uncle Son lived with Grandmother, and he could never resist picking at Aunt Reba.He also had a habit of just yelling out rhymes he made up or funny comments.One of his favorites to shout out  was "Tussy Red, Knock 'em dead!"   One Sunday, she flounced in and announced, "I'm wearing the latest style. Elephant bells!"  Uncle Son couldn't resist the perfect set-up she had given him. He shouted, "Hey, Donna Jo and Billy--the circus has done come to town. See! There's the elephant and it's wearing a tent!" Poor Aunt Reba, but it was funny. And Uncle Son never gave up. No matter what kind of get-up she wore, he had a comment. She wore a loose caftan. And he screamed,  "Kids, look here come de bus, here come de bus!" Aunt Reba would just tell him he never had no sense and no style. Uncle Frank? He lay low. 

     Finally, the day came when I was engaged, and Aunt Reba had to have all of us down to her house for a good dinner (because Grandmother didn't cook fancy enough, according to her). My Rick was not used to someone so boisterous. Uncle Frank gave him the house tour, while I looked over the table and the food. I walked into the dining room and found Aunt Reba spraying Black Flag pesticide all over the top of a most delicious looking chocolate cake. "What are you doing, Aunt Reba!" She just calmly replied that she'd been having a problem with sugar ants, and the Black Flag would keep them off the cake. I had to ask what other foods she had sprayed--just the cake, she promised. I had to sneak off and tell everyone NOT to eat any of the poison cake. Poor Uncle Frank--he told us she'd been spraying everything for ants, and he'd been going to eat at the cafeteria because he was in fear for his life. Somehow, we managed to eat the other food and avoid the cake. I think we were all too full of her delicious dinner to have dessert. At least that's what we told her.

     Food was always a problem. After Grandmother came to live with us permanently, Aunt Reba and Uncle Frank always came for Thanksgiving Dinner. As soon as they would get to the house, the arguments would begin. Grandmother and Aunt Reba would argue about their cousins 'Lil Sis and Iney and someone falling, or being pushed, off the mule wagon. They would argue about the food Grandmother had been preparing. Aunt Reba always insisted that she make her apple salad for the table. Grandmother would say, "Now Reba, you know nobody wants that nasty apple salad." Aunt Reba would insist that it was everyone's favorite (it was NOT), and she'd practically push Grandmother out of the way to make it. She'd even bring her own fancy dish for the apple salad. Uncle Frank was only concerned that Dolly would be sure to get some of the best bits of the turkey to eat. Uncle Son would come in and egg on the arguments. I'd be playing the piano, to try to draw her out with me. But, she wouldn't budge until that apple salad was made and in its fancy bowl. When everything was ready, Daddy would pray, and we'd dig in. All arguments forgotten, as long as the food lasted. Afterwards, Grandmother would do the dishes while Aunt Reba laid up and rested from her labor on the apple salad. Uncle Son would be sitting on the front porch screaming out whatever was on his mind. And Uncle Frank, he just lay low.

Aunt Reba--my personal Scarlett O'Hara

“I’m saying this is the South. And we’re proud of our crazy people.

We don’t hide them up in the attic.We bring ’em right down to the living room and show ’em off...

 no one in the South ever asks if you have crazy people in your family.

They just ask what side they’re on.” — Julia Sugarbaker, “Designing Women”

Aunt Reba and Uncle Frank, c. 1930

     I think that Julia Sugarbaker's remark about Southerners and their "crazy" people is funny and so accurate! Crazy isn't truly mentally ill; crazy really means eccentric. And no one need ask me what side of the family my crazy people are on--it's an easy answer, BOTH SIDES! My favorite crazy relative was my Aunt Reba,  my Grandmother Crenshaw's only sister and her complete opposite.  My grandmother was a rather taciturn person; her motto was "Pass and re-pass." Aunt Reba was loud, bossy, and very out-going. Her motto was "Any attention is good attention." Please understand; Aunt Reba would not be at all offended at my telling her tales. She would absolutely be reveling in the attention. 

    The James family was a typical farming family in rural Georgia. They lived in Perkins, no longer in existence. Perkins was near Milledgeville, where the Georgia State Institution for the Insane was located. Ironic, in my opinion. They were sharecroppers, and all the kids had to work in the fields, especially when it was time to chop cotton. All of them except Aunt Reba. Apparently, Reba was the favorite daughter, as she told me many times, and she did housework and, as Grandmother would say, she laid up while the others worked hard. Aunt Reba said she didn't have to work in the fields because she was Scarlett O'Hara, and Scarlett didn't get her hands dirty when someone else could. 

     Grandmother and Aunt Reba would argue, until they both passed, about things from their childhoods and early adulthood. Apparently, Reba was quite the flirt; Grandmother, not so much. One of the earliest stories I remember their arguing about was Aunt Reba's first marriage.  She went out on a date with her beau, and they were late returning home. So, she did what any nice Southern girl would do in that situation. She eloped. She figured her daddy wouldn't be as upset when she got home from the date married, instead of just being late. Grandmother's opinion of this story was that Reba shouldn't have been going out with boys in the first place. And this was a cautionary tale for me--don't miss curfew, or you might have to marry that boy. In fact, maybe it's just better if you don't start dating  at all. 

     Sometime in the late 1920's or early 1930's, most of the James family moved to Miami.Aunt Reba took Grandmother under her wing and introduced her to Miami's nightlife. As Aunt Reba told one story, they all went out to a speakeasy in Miami. Sometime during the night, they needed to use the ladies' room. Inside was a statue of a nearly nude man, who had a fig leaf over his unmentionables. There was a sign that said, "Don't lift the leaf." Aunt Reba swears that Grandmother lifted the leaf for a little peek, and when she did so, it set off an alarm. Everyone was looking when they made a hasty retreat back out into the speakeasy. Grandmother always maintained that Aunt Reba lifted the leaf because she would never do such a thing. It's a mystery as to who lifted the leaf, but I always wished I could have seen the two of them scurrying out of that restroom--especially my quiet Grandmother.
     Aunt Reba did divorce her late-curfew husband, and I never knew him. But I knew her second husband, my Uncle Frank, very well. He was such a nice, gentle man, except when it came to Aunt Reba. Theirs was a relationship that thrived on conflict I don't think there was one thing that they held the same opinion about. I remember their bickering a lot about the amount of shoes Aunt Reba owned. I thought Uncle Frank was exaggerating until I spent the night at their house. You literally could not get to her bed because the floor was covered in shoes. The closet was full of shoes. Uncle Frank had his own bedroom, and I think some of her shoes sneaked in there too. The other major source of conflict was Dolly, Uncle Frank's pekinese. That dog lived to be over 25 years old, and that only because Uncle Frank took her everywhere (except church). He carried her all the time, and she always sat on his lap or right next to him, bumping Aunt Reba out of her place.  He carried a little china dish so Dolly never missed a meal. When Dolly needed to go out, he carried her and just put her down to take care of business. Dolly was too precious to even walk by herself.  When Dolly passed, Uncle Frank had her buried in the pet cemetery in Miami. He told all of us that when he passed into glory, he wanted to be buried next to Dolly because he'd get no peace in the hereafter if he was buried near Aunt Reba. He said she'd be complaining, even when she was in Heaven. Uncle Frank did pass first, but the pet cemetery wasn't zoned for people. I know my long-suffering Uncle Frank just sighed and then enjoyed Heaven. And hoped it would be a long time before Aunt Reba joined him there.