Good Bye, Mommy, See You Again One Day.

Willene "Sissy" Crenshaw

     Sunday morning, October 27, 1968. Mommy was up early. Daddy had left very early that morning to go fishing, and she was taking care of my younger sister. I was still in bed, being quiet and as still as possible, pretending to be asleep in hopes of missing church that day.  My brother was really sleeping in his room. Just a quiet, sunny Sunday morning like so many others. Our Sundays were always the same. Breakfast together, change into our church clothes, then Mommy would drive us kids and herself to Pembrook Road Baptist Church for Sunday School and church. Then home, and Daddy would drive us down to Little River to have Sunday dinner with Grandmother and then go to my Grandma Crenshaw's house for a visit before returning home. A typical Sunday that would never happen again.

     "Donna Jo. Donna Jo, come here." I turned over and buried my face in the pillow, pretending not to hear her. "DONNA JO!! I NEED YOU NOW!" The tone of Mommy's voice was one I had never heard before. She wasn't angry; she was in a panic. I jumped up and ran into the living room. My sister was standing there, with Mommy sitting behind her, holding her in her arms. Mommy looked up at me and said, "Donna Jo, walk me over to Mrs. Enterline's, and ask her to take me to the hospital." I understood what was happening; Mommy was having a severe asthma attack. She leaned on me as we made it across the street. She was able to whisper one last instruction to me--"Take care of your sister." 

     Mrs. Enterline met me at her van; we helped Mommy up into the front seat. Mrs. Enterline got in, turned the key, and the van would not start. She tried again and again, but the van would not start. By this time, Mommy was no longer conscious. In tears, Mrs. Enterline told me that we couldn't lift Mommy out to the other car, so she would call for an ambulance. I stayed with Mommy while Mrs. Enterline ran inside to call. At twelve years old, I really didn't understand what was happening. I held Mommy's hand. I watched as her lips turned blue. I watched as a white froth came from her mouth. And I still didn't understand. When the ambulance finally came, I ran back across the street to be with my sister. I thought that when Mommy came back from the hospital, like she had always done before, I wanted her to know that I had obeyed her and had taken care of my sister. 

     Once the ambulance had gone, a police officer came to our door. I remember feeling so self-conscious because I was in my nightgown, bare-footed, and with my bangs taped down. The officer didn't tell me anything, but he wanted to know where my father was, when he was expected home, and if there was anyone I could call. The rest of the day went by in a blur. My grandmother didn't have a phone, so I had to call my Uncle Dave and have him take a message to her. My daddy's family started arriving from all over Miami. I still didn't understand what had happened. Finally, Daddy came home from his fishing trip. I was watching from the window when he was dropped off by his buddies. I saw the Enterlines and Grandmother walk up to him, speak to him, and then I watched as he turned white, started sobbing, and collapsed into their arms. And I still wasn't sure what was happening, but I knew it was hard for me to breathe and that my heart was quaking within. Finally, Daddy came into the house. He called my brother and me to him and told us, "Mommy is dead. She's gone to heaven." 

     What to do? My brother disappeared for a few hours; he climbed up in our tree and cried there, all alone. I was too stunned to cry. I felt that I had to be strong because Daddy and Billy were so upset. Dana was just too young, only two years old, to know what was happening. My neighbor Carol asked if she could call someone for me, and I asked for my best friend, Dana Jones, to be called. Dana came straight from church, and, when I saw her, I was able to let go and finally cry. 

      As that Sunday continued, family from Okeechobee and all over Florida began arriving. I went with Daddy to pick out her coffin. I went with Aunt Nancy to pick out flowers for her from us kids and  for a dress for her to wear. We shopped for new clothes for us kids. We accepted all the food people were bringing over to the house. Aunt Nancy, Granny, and Grandmother arranged for the supper after the funeral and meals during the week. So busy. Then it came time for the private family viewing. I did not want to go, but I had to. It was very hard to see my daddy so vulnerable. It was hard to see my little sister cry out, "Mommy! I sleep with her!" and try to climb next to Mommy in the coffin. I absolutely refused to go to the public viewing, until Mrs. Enterline convinced me to go. All I could think was that Mommy had her nails done--and she never had them done before.  

     Finally, the day of the funeral came. I was determined to be strong, and I was. My two uncles, James and Larry, escorted me down to the front of the church, but I was the one with the broad shoulders that they were leaning upon. Their Sissy, my mommy, had helped to raise them. She was their second mother, so they were as grief-stricken as her own children were. I don't remember much about the service, except that there were hymns and lots of tears.I remember the hundreds of flower arrangements that were in the church, and, later, at the graveside service. I remember knowing that my life was forever changed.

     Once home, there were so many people crowded into our small house. People were sitting everywhere, both inside and outside. There was plenty of food. And, as it had been at Granny Skinner's funeral, the supper was a time of fellowship, laughter, stories, and love. I realized just how much my mommy, my daddy's love, my granny and granddaddy's dear daughter, my aunts and uncles' Sissy, my cousins' Aunt Sissy, and her friends' Willene had been loved. I realized just how many people would miss her. I realized just how many lives she had touched in her short 32 years. She still is touching lives today through the influence she had on her family and friends. I will see you again, Mommy. 

Shirley Willene "Sissy"--My Mommy

     My mommy was born on December 7, 1935 in McAlpin, Florida.  My granny and granddaddy didn't even have a name picked out for her. They had lost several babies to miscarriages and had a still-birth, so they didn't expect this baby to live. In the scramble for a name, they went with the most popular girl's name in the 1930s--Shirley, after Shirley Temple. For her middle name, and the name she went by, they took Granddaddy's name "Willie" and just converted it to a feminine name by adding the "ene"--thus, "Willene." Although my daddy and the neighbors called her "Willene," her family all called her "Sissy."
     Mommy spent her childhood between McAlpin and Hollywood. She used to tell me about how she and her sisters would play at the house up in McAlpin. After they swept the yard, they'd take sticks and draw playhouses in the dirt. Then they'd go and find dog weed and make themselves "babies" so they could play house. She attended elementary school in McAlpin during WWII. If I complained about the lunch she sent to school with me, she would tell me I was lucky. Granny would make big cats' head biscuits, poke a hole in one, fill it with bacon grease or cane syrup, and that was her lunch. I knew she was born and lived in a wooden house, but I imagined a white-washed house with a fence and a green yard. The reality was that she lived in an old cypress Cracker house with just a couple of rooms. Once, she pointed out the type of house she had grown up in, and I said, "Mommy, that's a shack!" "No, Donna Jo, that was home." She often spent summers up in McAlpin, and she told me about working for Uncle Vann in his tobacco field. He would pay her a penny for every four tobacco worms she'd pick off the leaves. She often told me that seeing those worms was one of the reasons she never used tobacco. I never thought about Mommy being a Depression baby, or the hard financial times her family had. She always spoke of her childhood as being happy.

The type of house Mommy was born in

 

Granny and the girls, a picture taken for my granddaddy during WWII

 

 

 

 

                           

     When she was a teenager, the family settled in Hollywood, Florida. Mommy was a typical teen. I was a lucky girl. Both of my parents grew up in South Florida, and they loved going to to beach! I used to look at the photo album she had when she was a teenager, and there were plenty of pictures of her posing in her swimsuit. She also liked sports and used to tell me about playing softball for the McArthur Dairy team. The girls were upset because the words "McArthur Dairy"on their uniforms went right across their bosoms.
     Mommy also told me about going to church as a child. She always liked singing hymns at our home, and she was involved in church teaching Sunday School and singing. Mommy had the gift of discernment, I believe. I know that the Spirit was working in my heart one Sunday morning, and she could see that I was struggling about the decision to accept Christ as my Savior. She took time that week and told me about when she was saved. She thought she had been saved as a little girl, and one Sunday, during the Lord's Supper, she took the cup and looked down at the grape juice. She told me that, to her, it looked just like blood. It was then that she realized that she was still lost; she wasn't covered by the Blood; and it was that day that she accepted Jesus as her Savior. I try not to live my life with regrets, but I do regret not accepting Jesus that Sunday morning because my salvation would have given her such joy.  Mommy made sure that we attended church, Sunday School, and Vacation Bible School. Her faith was real in her life, and others could see her faith in action. One of our neighbors said of her that Willene had broad shoulders that were always there for her to lean and to cry on. I saw Mommy counsel one of the young neighbors many times, and it seemed, to me, that she was ready to help anyone in need. When the whole Jones family would get together, I, being the eldest grandchild, got to sleep on the couch. I would listen the the soft, lilting voices of Mommy, Granny, and my aunts as they talked and cried together. Mommy seemed to be the voice of reason and faith.
     Mommy could be funny too. When Mountain Dew was first sold, my brother and I wanted to try it more than anything! But, Mommy wouldn't let us. Finally, the Coke gods intervened. She decided to treat us to a cold drink. She put in the dime, pushed the button for Co-Cola, and a Mountain Dew bottle popped out instead. Finally! We were getting a taste of Mountain Dew. No. Wrong. She went up to the man who worked at the gas station and pitched a true hissy fit. "Sir, I wanted a Co-Cola and this came out instead." "Ah, but....." "No. My children are not drinking Mountain Dew. I KNOW what Mountain Dew is and" "Wait, Ma'am. It's a soft drink." "No, don't tell me that. I know it is alcohol and I want my Co-Cola." By this time, Billy and I were sunk as far down in our seats as we could get. And there was no explaining to her that Mountain Dew was just Coke--not liquor. I'm so glad that I have never embarrassed my children like that.
     That wasn't the only embarrassing thing. Poor Mommy. She had problem with her fine, thin, straight hair. For Sunday church, she would roll up her hair early  on Saturday morning. Of course, one did not go out in curlers. Sometimes, she'd put a scarf on. Other times, she found, what she thought, was a better cover-up. It was a head-band with fake hair attached that she could comb over the curlers. I called it her "hair-hat." Unfortunately, the hair part looked like bozo-red Zak hair. And it never really covered all those curlers. Apparently, she was a woman of confidence, because she never seemed to notice the looks and titters. I'd just duck my head and pretend she didn't belong to me. That was hard to do because she never let us get out of her sight, or she'd yell out "DONNA JO! BILLY! Y'all get back here!"
     One of the habits that Mommy passed down to me is the love of reading. Mommy read all the time. Newspaper. Bible. Novels. Magazines. Non-fiction books. She encouraged my loved of reading from when I was a baby. She read the same books to me over and over, and, eventually, I began picking words out of the books and newspapers. And I was reading by age two or three. She knew that receiving a book for my birthday or Christmas was the gift I most wanted! She even ran interference for me with the librarian on the Book-Mobile. The librarian wouldn't let me check out anything but children's books, but Mommy went down there and talked her into letting me check out "adult" books (classics or historical novels--not trash!). She would have been so proud that I became an English teacher and also passed along her love of reading to my own children.

 Mommy, Donna Jo, Elisabeth (her granddaughter)

    

Incredible Journey--Part II

     Onward we go! After the graveside service, we were invited out to my cousin Steve's home for lunch. Now, I can't speak for other places, but the funeral meals in the South are awesome! I was looking forward to some of that delicious, home-made food. Unfortunately, right before the funeral began, my sister whispered to me that I had missed out. The "good" supper had been eaten the night before, after the viewing. So, Doc and I were getting leftovers. Still, we could eat and reminisce about our Granny.

 Just a sample of the supper I missed!

     When we got to Steve's, there were lots of hugs and kisses, and we were told to go in to the kitchen to get a little something to eat. I picked around the food, and I was a little suspicious about the meat. I finally asked the guys who were sitting in there at the kitchen table what exactly was the meat? Beef? Pork? Nope. Venison. Well, that wasn't sitting well with my tummy, so I passed on the deer meat. Got myself a Coke and plopped down to eat and talk.
     And there was a lot of talk! The homey Southern patois swirled around me. Snippets of this conversation. Snippets of that. "Do y'all remember when..." "My granddaughter calls me 'Honey.' I ain't gonna be called Granny."  "Cheryl, Cheryl!" "Donna Jo, you a teacher?" "Those are pictures of me riding a bull at the rodeo." "Cheryl!!" "Granny used to..."  "Sure miss Granddaddy!"  "They're having a great reunion in heaven!" "One night I was out on the lake and I saw me a UFO" "You kids settle down!" "Y'all get enough to eat?" "CHERYL!!!"
     I finished off my food and Coke. I could see where I could throw away the paper plate, but I was looking for where everyone had put their cans. Wandering into the kitchen, I was looking for the recycling bin. There at the table sat the men of the family--Uncle Larry, Clint, Steve, James. Finally, I asked, "Where do I put my Coke can? Where is your recycling bin?" Apparently, that was a funny question. They all snickered a bit, and Larry said, "Hey, just open the door. It's out yonder." So, I opened the door. There was just a drop off to the ground. "Hey, where....." Then I saw the "recycling" bin--it was a pyramid of cans, at least five feet high. " Donna Jo, just throw your can on top." They laughed. A lot. I swear I heard one of them say, "She's been Yankeefied!"  I was red-faced, but did as I was told.

 Florida Cracker Recycling

     Finally, it was time to drive home. Doc and I had a pretty uneventful ride home, well, except for one final incident. We pulled into the turnpike rest stop to get some gas. And, you guessed it, I went in to pay. Doc filled the pump. Before I could pay, he started to pull up for the next car to get to the pump. The lady inside got a little panicky--"Runner! We've got a runner!"  "Wait! Wait! I'm with him. I'm paying!" Poor Doc. Poor me. But, this was an incredible journey my brother and I had together. Actually, the only journey I think we've ever taken that was just us. Hey, Doc! Wanna do it again?

The Incredible Trip--Part One

 
My brother Billy and I are very different. People are surprised that we are siblings. However, we did take one incredible trip together. 

Billy, aka "Doc"

    In the fall of 1994, our Granny passed away. It was arranged that Billy would pick me up at the Christian school where I taught, and we would drive down to Okeechobee together for the funeral. Great plan, right?
I went in to teach a couple of classes before we left. I was dressed for the funeral in a suit. My brother came to the school office. I was in the back, and I heard the receptionist say, "Are you SURE you're here for Mrs. Davis?" "Yeah." I went up and told her that it was fine.I noticed that Doc had on shorts and a t-shirt. Not exactly what I expected for Granny's funeral. I signed out and got ready to leave. A student happened to come in at that moment and asked Billy where was he taking me. "Why the blank do you need to know?" And we were off.
    Our next stop was the gas station. I offered to fill up his tank before we got on the road. I went inside to pay and get him a cup of coffee. When I was paying, the attendant whispered to me, "Are you okay?" I told her that I was with my brother and I was just fine.
    Now on to the highway. We went about half-way with no AC. I was dying in my suit, so I asked if the AC was broken. "Nope," he replied, "I was just waiting for you to ask." That problem was solved, and the journey continued. Slowly. Very slowly. Finally, I asked why was he going so slow. "Well, I've got something under the seat, and I don't want to get pulled over." A gun. He had a gun under the seat. I could just see the headlines: "Christian School Teacher Arrested on Gun Charges." I was fine with his speed now.
    We finally made it to Okeechobee and decided to stop at the McD's for some lunch. By this time, I was really worried about his clothes. He told me he had a suit, so don't worry. We had our lunch, and I went and touched up my make-up. Billy was still in his shorts and t-shirt. I asked him when was he changing. His answer? "Right now." And he changed his clothes right in the parking lot of the McDonald's. Again, those headlines flashed in my mind: "Christian School Teacher Mooned In McD's Parking Lot."

Me

    We finally made it to the funeral home. We saw the family and paid our respects to our Granny. I sat with my sister, and we both teared up as we thought of how happy Granddaddy would be to see the "Old Critter" again.
    When the funeral was over, we made our way out to the cemetery for the grave-side service. We were one of the last cars to arrive. As we  drove up, we could see the family, including many girl cousins we didn't know well,  gathering around the grave. Funny thing, as different as we are, we both burst out singing, "I like my women a little on the trashy side, when they wear their clothes too tight and their hair is dyed."

To be continued...